GiRaFfe AnD mOuSe

Love (for her)

2008-04-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

Goes way beyond the emotional high that comes at the beginning or from time to time. It extends to the appreciation of and the commitment to take care of her. It's to face the future (in this world, till death, or Christ's return) together.

That's how the "for better or for worse" can be fulfilled. That's how I'd wish things to be, God willing.

Love you dear. Happy 2.5 year's anniversary ;-)

(Dated 090408)

The Ask-The-Parents Day

2006-10-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

6th of august, the day I asked her parents whether they approve of us getting married in the future.

Was quite nervous, no, was very very nervous. But managed to get the courage to tell the parents simply (in my usual bad mandarin) my intentions:

We've come together last year with the intention of getting married in the future, and now that we're going to start slowly planning and looking out for stuff in preparations for marrying (God willing) in 2008, I thought it appropriate to ask them for their approval first, since she's their daughter after all...

The parents smiled a lot, and the mum just said simply mid sentence:"we don't disapprove". Following which they gave some advice in the short period of time that I stayed for a drink, and then I had to go home to prepare for school tomorrow.

*whew* Not much closer to marriage in that sense, but certainly part of showing to Yifen and others around that I'm serious in wanting to marry her. =")

Will you let me take care of you for the rest of your life?

2006-09-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

We started going out together with the aim of working towards marriage. Although the engagement (ring) isn't absolutely necessary with this kind of understanding, it does serve it's purposes in showing others and reminding one another how serious we are about this.

Now that the ring isn't in the box anymore, it's down to really acting out the promise: to continually learn and improve in taking care of her both materially/physically/emotionally, but in eternal matters (pointing her to Christ). With God's help =P

On Verbal Affirmations

2006-09-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

Verbal affirmations are like vitamins.

Taken appropriately with the main meals they serve to improve things.

Taken in excess, or without proper meals they're useless.

=P~~~

Communication ...

2006-03-13T10:29:00.000+08:00

Seems like communication is something we keep talking about here. Just thought I’ll share about we have been going through recently, and hopefully, our experience will be helpful to others in one way or another. Of course, advice is most welcomed too!

Ever since our attachment begun, we no longer have the luxury of time. Our mode of communication has switched from face-to-face (my preference) to talking over the phone most of the time during the week. After this episode of communication issue, we have gathered a few learning points.

Poor reception can indeed cause much frustration. All the “huh?”, “sorry…sorry, can you say that again?” , “wait..I don’t get you..” just irritates each other, both the speaker and the hearer. To make things worse, the inability to understand each other’s context only proves to worsen the communication problem. Due to confidentiality in Giraffe’s job, not much can be shared. And source codes etc are just beyond my comprehension. Although he has tried to simplify things for the sake of my understanding, they still sound pretty alien to me. Likewise, pedagogy and classroom management issues are only comprehensible to Giraffe to a certain extent, and we are talking about the teaching of Chinese language here. And to make things even worse, not expressing feelings when needed simply gives the other party the impression that all is well. This can be quite shocking and sad sometimes to the one who shares more freely. Aww. To have a computer engineering student trying to understand a Chinese language trainee teacher (vice versa) is really no easy task. You see the extremes? ;p

However, by God’s grace, we managed to talk things through (at our usual hangout and somehow the same table) and have come to a common understanding of what has gone wrong, and the things that need to be constantly worked on. In the midst of a somewhat tense conversation attributed by much silence, I had this sudden “inspiration”. We can use one of MOE’s slogan acronyms in our context also. Here goes:

MOE – Teach Less, Learn More.
Mouse – Talk Less, Listen More.
Giraffe - ?

Anyway, recognizing the problem is just but the beginning, we need to work on this issue constantly, both separately and together. :)It’s going to be hard work, but needed for sure as we work towards a Christ-centred marriage.

Prawn Peeling

2006-03-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

At a recent wedding dinner...

There were three types of people that we observed at our table:
1) The couple that're not married yet: The guy peels TWO plates worth of prawns, willingly.

2) The couple that're married for a few years: The guy admits to seldom peeling for his wife, but also willingly peels the prawns for his wife. ;)

3) The couple that're married for more than a decade: Both the husband and the wife peel their own prawns, willingly.

PS: Don't worry, we won't post too many posts like this in this blog. Just to share some light-hearted observations. Expecting some comments though ;)

Cooperation And Conflict

2006-01-04T09:40:00.000+08:00

Being in a relationship is like riding a tandem bike...the guy steers mainly, but both pedal...like according to the created order, the guy's supposed to lead (in love), and the girl's supposed to submit and help all with the ultimate aim of each others' growth in Christlikeness...

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But us being sinners justified by grace (until Christ comes again, then we'll be glorified with Christ), there comes times when the guy doesn't really lead well, or the girl tries to dominate...and the conflicts come...

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Wellll....when the conflicts are unresolvable, then it becomes like how the world does it: war. The winner of this contest of strength is obvious...with the defeated party getting really wet ;)

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At the end of the day, weeelllll...we still carry on with what we're supposed to do as God's people in this world: loving one another (within the respective contexts), striving to do what's best for the other person.

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Okok, on a more serious note, the number of times the conflicts happened has not been zero thus far, caused by things ranging from sinfulness to inability to trust each other (shown in various ways).

But ultimately the solution to all these is still found in remembering the one in whom our identities are defined: Christ our Lord and Saviour, whom first loved and saved us, and now our lives are to be growing toward our ultimate goal: Christlikeness, in loving others sacrificially.

This means that as we forgive one another for our (current) shortcomings and helping them to overcome them, we too also make personal effort to change for the better as Christians, and as people working towards a marriage relationship.

Do pray for us too, ok? ;)

Handling Ripples

2005-12-22T19:06:00.000+08:00

Haha..Now that Giraffe has publicly announced that he is working hard on communicating face-to-face, I do hope to see some improvement along the way. *grins*

Anyway, thought I'll share a bit on handling ripples in a relationship. Though there are many out there who are much more experienced, and probably 'been there done that', thought I'll still drop a few lines on this issue. Am quite thankful for ripples actually, because it is an opportunity to put into practice the lesson of other-centredness, patience and love, often putting down personal pride and responding in humility.

Some instances include waiting for about half an hour for Giraffe to express himself, after counting down and slight rising of the blood pressure. ;p Once again reminded that we are very different in the way we express ourselves. For me , I do not have much of a problem voicing out my thoughts and feelings. Through such instances, I've learnt patience and have learnt to appreciate the differences between us.

A very dear friend of ours gave us a piece of advice when we first started going out 2 months plus ago. 'Think of how you will handle your conflicts before it happens. " We decided that the best way to handle our conflicts is not to hold back anything, but to share openly and frankly what we thought went wrong. It is always good to talk and not leave anything till the next day, and end off with a time of prayer. As of now, the ripples are probably minor as compared to major ones in the future. :) Do pray for us though. Thanks!

MSN & blogging vs face-to-face

2005-12-22T17:26:00.000+08:00

With the advance of technology, communication has become easier and more convenient with things like instant messengers and internet voice calls.

But with this form of communication comes it's dangers, usually in the form of misinterpreted ideas and also the loss of face-to-face interactions.

One particular group of people especially influenced by such things are those who use computers extensively (like *ah-hem*), and conflicts do occur at times when some things should be talked over face to face, but yet are either not voiced out, or voiced out in the "wrong channel" ;)

Something for crazy computer engineers like myself to continually work on to change, since I use blogging and msn too much to communicate with people. =P

The poor mouse...has to endure this for as long as this problem still exists, but it's good that she's working on her paitience, serious!

First Post!

2005-12-08T13:16:00.000+08:00

=)

Wellll....just a blog to try sharing some of our lives? Hope this is encouraging to those who read (each other and whoever comes by also), yeah? ;)